It’s bad enough that you have to lug a heavy bag of worthless direct mail and catalogs that nobody reads, but when you’ve got angry birds swopping down on you while you’re doing it, then it really sucks.
That’s what the mail carriers in Calgary, Canada are dealing with as of late. Seems that the agitated birds of prey are trying get to the mailmen before the neighborhood Rottweilers do.
The air threat has gotten so bad that mail delivery has been suspended. Which means folks in Calgary won’t be getting their weekly issues of People, their low rate credit card applications, or that discreetly wrapped, unmarked package they’ve been desperately waiting for.
Sucks to be without your mail-order blow up bride.
When you’re born with a curved spine, a lazy eye and a paw that looks like it was once a chew toy, you probably think that life couldn’t suck any worse. Until, that is, some douchebag human plucks you out of the pound and makes you is own personal carnival freak show.
If you were to pick the coolest being on the planet (other than Johnny Depp, that is) you’d have to say it was the dog. The hound. The pooch.
The bad thing about being a moose trapped in a crack, is that you can’t call 911 to get some dude in a helicopter with a basket to pull you out. All you can do is hope that one of your buddies comes by to lend you a hand. And even then — no hands — so you’re pretty much a candidate for Fuck My Life. The moose in question, with his 14 IQ and his obvious inability to jump a 6-inch ravine, just waited until the nature took its course and the vultures arrived. Sucks to be digging your own grave.
