Former actress and current train wreck, Lindsay Lohan is learning the hard way that the role of “convict” is lot tougher to play than a kid at camp in “Parent Trap.”
Lohan, who was sentenced to mild time in the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood, California on Tuesday was treated like a common, well, criminal. According to reports, she burst into tears after prison wardens ripped out her hair extensions and forced her to remove her false eyelashes.
As one of the prison guards put it: “She was a broken woman. But she won’t get any sympathy here — this is jail.”
By jail, do you mean no private trailer with free bagels?
By jail, do you mean no slutty nights out with Paris and Britney?
By jail to you mean no red carpets and autograph seekers?
Say it ain’t so, copper. Stars aren’t treated this way. Even drunk driving, parole violating stars.
Just ask Charlie Sheen.
But, for the next few months, life is going to be on the sucky side for Ms. Lohan, as she tries to deal with bad wardrobe, terrible craft services, and one lousy role — license plate maker.
Let’s face it, rock stars ODing on drugs is as common as the Jonas Brothers making our ears bleed. It happens every day.
Wisconsin state attorney Scott Southworth is threatening sex education teachers that if they follow a new state law that allows them to inform students about proper contraceptive use, they could face criminal charges for contributing to the delinquency of a minor. In other words, if you teach hormonally-hypercharged teens how to shag without giving each other deadly STDs, you are putting their lives in grave danger.
I think it finally happened. We ran out of hot women to exploit.
