Archive for the ‘Gratuitous Self Promotion’ Category

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SUCKS TO BE watching an annoying kitty sing, “Happy Birthday”

Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009

But that’s what you’re doing.

Why? Because today, December 23, 2009, marks Sucks to be You’s first birthday. And we thought we’d celebrate in the suckiest way we know how.

Over the year, we’ve posted some 400 stories. We’ve got a lot of great suggestions. And we’ve made a lot of friends along the way.

Hopefully, we’ve provided you enough incentive to slack off at work, put off the homework, or ignore your significant other.

After all, that’s what we’re here for.

So, thanks for hanging with us. Here’s to showing you another crappy birthday song next year.

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SUCKS TO BE in need during the holidays

Saturday, December 19th, 2009

Picture 10Usually when we here at STBY see someone having a bad day, we laugh. We point. And then we make fun of them for the enjoyment of thousands.

But today, we’re feeling a little sentimental. A little — what’s the word we’re looking for? –  CARING! Yeah, caring.

Which is why we would like to direct you to one terrific blog. It’s called Change for 20. And on it, you’ll find story after story of people (just like you) who took $20 and changed another’s life for the better.

So please, today, instead of scrolling through our stories, scroll through the stories at changefor20.com. And then go out and make a story of your own to share with the interweb world.

And from all of us at Sucks to be You, happy holidays. Really.

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SUCKS TO BE without STBY Facebook updates all day long

Wednesday, October 7th, 2009

Become an STBY facebook friend

Become a fan of STBY on Facebook.

Sucks To Be You is proud to announce that we now have a Facebook fan page. And it would really, really suck if you weren’t among our friends. The page, if we don’t suck it up, will be more than just daily links to this site (which clearly you already know how to get to), it will be a forum where we can all discuss our sucky days. Our hope is that you post your own sucky comments and also revel in the pathetic entries of others. To become a fan, go here

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SUCKS TO BE shopping on Christmas Eve

Tuesday, October 6th, 2009

Ts

The holidays are right around the corner, folks. Well, alright, it’s not even Halloween yet. But if you’re as sucky as we are at buying gifts, you need to start thinking now about getting the most special people in your life something special in December.

So why not spread the holiday spirit and tell your friends, family and colleagues how you really feel with your very own Sucks To Be You merch. In addition to t-shirts and bumper stickers, we have sweet mugs that assist you in pointing and laughing at other people, too.

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SUCKS TO BE without Sucks to be You

Tuesday, September 29th, 2009

Picture 3As you probably noticed, the STBY site was down for a considerable amount of time yesterday. What happened was we left our IT Guy, Gunther, in charge of the shop while the rest of the staff went on a bonding retreat in upstate New York.  Gunther, with nobody around, decided it would be a good idea to pass the time with a sixer of Mickey’s Wide Mouths. He got drunk, tripped over some wires, and spilled his liquid lunch all over the equipment.

The site, thankfully, is back up. Although as you browse through the pages, you’ll find there’s still some work to be done.

*Sigh*

We’d like to say that this sort of nuclear meltdown will never happen again. But Gunther has some compromising and, quite frankly, disturbing pictures of our founder and CEO.  So he’s here to stay.

To prepare for a likely future STBY emergency shut-down, we suggest you take the following steps:
1.    Grab an STBY widget. (see banner to right). It’s an easy way to keep the sucks coming even if the site is gone.
2.    Buy a Sucks to be You t-shirt. It’s only about $20, and Gunther can’t touch it.
3.    Visit any of the sites on our blog roll. They’re all good. And Gunther isn’t tech support for any of them.

Again, we sincerely apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you in your attempt to goof off during work hours.

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SUCKS TO BE without the totally awesome STBY widget

Saturday, September 5th, 2009
It's not just a widget, it's an essential of life

It's not just a widget, it's an essential of life

There have been a lot of inventions that have benefitted mankind. Vaccines. Indoor plumbing. Anything made by Ronco. And now you can add the new Sucks to be You widget to that list. How we humans have gone this long without a daily desktop reminder of things that suck, is beyond understanding. But that’s exactly what you’ll get from this sweet new app. It’s free. So do yourself a huge favor and get yours. You can simply grab it by clicking on the icon to the right. Or you can  grab it here.

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SUCKS TO BE missing all the Internets have to offer

Sunday, July 12th, 2009

When Al Gore invented the Internet, he had two goals in mind: Make porn more accessible to the masses and give people an infinite number of ways to slack off at work. Here at STBY, we’re certainly trying to do our part to entertain you during the day. But, despite what you may think, we’re not the only wildly hilarious site on the WWW.

So, today, we thought we’d give mad props to some of the blogs out there that we find particularly entertaining. You, know, share the love as it were.

Picture 4

1000 Awesome Things.

A  site that, for some odd reason, takes a look at the positive side of life. No girls impregnated by pools here. But it’s still good.

This is Photobomb.

Real pictures that are really funny.

People Who Deserve It.

In our view, some of the best writing out there. It’s a must read for the STBY staff. And it should be for you, too.

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SUCKS TO BE writing blog posts while everyone else is at a cookout

Monday, May 25th, 2009
We're having Twinkies from the company vending machine.

We're having Twinkies from the company vending machine.

The sucky thing about being a professional…uh…journalist is that the news never stops. Not even on Memorial Day.

Which means today ain’t a day off for yours truly. No, like our esteemed colleagues Wolf Blitzer and Anderson Cooper, we’re parking it behind the computer to bring you the world.

So for us, it’s no grilled weenies. No family Jarts game. No parades with boy scouts and little league baseball teams.

And while we’re here cooped up in the STBY newsroom, what are you doing? You’re enjoying the sun, overeating and spending quality time with your family.

No, wait. You’re huddled around your computer. Just like us.

Sucks to be you.

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SUCKS TO BE Arkansas

Wednesday, March 4th, 2009
Come on now. Let's get busy.

The lone hold outs. For now.

Soooo-wwwwweeeeeee! What’s up, Razorbacks? How’s everyone down at WalMart HQ? Apparently too busy restocking the 99-cent sock shelves to be reading Sucks To Be You.

You see, according to our crack Google Analytics staff, as of yesterday, Arkansas was the only state not to check in to STBY.

Not one single visitor from the land of Huckabee. Ever.

Not good. Not good at all, y’all.

Since our inception back in December, we’ve had thousands upon thousands of visitors. Folks as far away as China and Singapore and India are pointing and clicking our way. And they can’t even read English.

So if you’re thinking of using that as an excuse, no go, pal.

We know that your fine state of pig farmers and cousin-marriers isn’t the hub of culture. But we gotta believe that there’s at least one of you down there smart enough to see how witty and biting and ironic and awesome we are.

So, c’mon folks. Don’t deny yourself this cultural expienence like you’ve done with literature and poetry. Log on to STBY now. And if it’s not too much trouble, can you use your pull and see about getting our STBY t-shirts sold through WalMart?

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DOESN’T SUCK TO BE Abdul Adil

Wednesday, February 25th, 2009
Artist's rendering of Abdul Q. Adil, who is STBY's nomination for Sexiest, Smartest, Unsuckiest Man Alive award.

Artist's rendering of Abdul Q. Adil, who is STBY's nomination for Sexiest, Smartest, Unsuckiest Man Alive award.

We’re not sure if Adil is Abdul’s full surname. Or if Abdul has any talents. Or if he even has all four of his limbs. But what we are sure Abdul has is an extraordinary, phenomenal, spectacular, unique, outstanding, striking, alluring, attractive, captivating, charming, entertaining, fascinating, one-of-a-kind Sucks To Be You t-shirt.

Abdul, you are the first to wear this official badge of awesomeness in public. You are officially our first customer. You are the reason we are officially 50-cents richer. And for that, you officially do not suck.

As for the rest of you, well, the shirt you’ve got on right now officially does suck. And it will never, ever get you laid.

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