Archive for the ‘Public Humiliation’ Category
SUCKS TO BE pranked by a old lady in a scooter
Monday, August 30th, 2010SUCKS TO BE a bad boss with a creative ex-employee
Wednesday, August 11th, 2010The following is a resignation letter by a disgruntled employee. It was done on white board. It was posted on the Internet. And it’s the resignation letter we all, at one time in our lives, wish we’d written. Kudos to the girl with the dry erase marker.
Thanks to Glenn P. for the link.
SUCKS TO BE a spectator at the Wreck Beach North American Skinnydip
Monday, July 12th, 2010
Be aware if you’re planning a family trip to the beach in Vancouver, Britsh Columbia. The Wreck Beach Preservation Society will be attempting to break the Guinness world record for mass skinny dipping.
I don’t know about you, but with the exception of Shania Twain and Avril Lavigne, there aren’t many Canucks I’d want to see in their birthday suits. I mean the puffy mass of Molson bellies tattered with scars from pick up hockey games and bar fights is enough to make anyone go blind.
We here at STBY love our friends in the Great White North. But, quite honesty, we like you better with your Wayne Gretzky sweaters and your Dudley Doright knickers on.
So, do the world a favor, Wreck Beach Preservation Society. Cancel your temporary nudist colony and preserve our lunches from being hurled into the Pacific.
SUCKS TO BE eating bugs on live television
Tuesday, June 29th, 2010z\
The show must go on. Or…maybe not.
SUCKS TO BE farting on live TV
Friday, May 21st, 2010Hey, it’s Friday. Let’s keep it light. And odorous.
SUCKS TO BE stuck with your arm in the toilet
Wednesday, May 19th, 2010
A college student in China had to be rescued by firefighters after he got his arm stuck down a toilet trying to retrieve his cell phone. Apparently the man was talking or texting on the phone when the device fell between his legs and down the loo.
Considering the guy was sitting during his mission, we can only assume that he was laying some cable. So the fact that he had to stick his arm in the cesspool is sucky enough. But to be trapped there? Excuse us while we throw up in our mouths.
All we have to say is the device had better have been an iPhone or something cooler or it wasn’t worth the dive. I mean even a Droid ain’t worth getting dookie between your fingernails.
No word on how long the student was trapped with his arm in his ass-release. But we do know the taunts and jeers from his dorm mates will go on for an eternity.
Sucks to have insult added to stinky injury.
SUCKS TO BE the son of a premature ejaculator
Thursday, April 22nd, 2010
"It's not you, Ashley, it's my dad."
Research scientists have discovered that like baldness and bad eyesight, premature ejaculation is hereditary.
That’s right. If you’re experiencing an inordinate number of false starts with the ladies, chances are your dear old dad did too.
Sort of begs the question how you got here in the first place, if your dad was continuously leaving hs offspring in his underwear. But hey, that’s the next big project for our scientific community.
The sucky news is that because your dad couldn’t control himself, you won’t be able to either. Which means you’re going to be doing a lot of apologizing to your one night stands. And let’s face it with your crappy DNA, one night is about all you’re going to get.
SUCKS TO BE defeated in an election by a dead guy
Tuesday, April 20th, 2010
Mayor-elect Geary giving his acceptance speech
There is no shortage of crappy political candidates in this country. We’ve got Congressional page gropers. We’ve got prostitute-loving, wife humiliators. And we’ve got enough party-hugging, do-nothing impotents to fill, well, the House of Representatives.
But how bad to you have to be to lose your seat as Mayor to a corpse?
Just ask Barbara Brock, former head honcho of Tracy City, Tennessee, who lost in a landslide to Carl Robin Geary Sr., a guy who had been sitting at room temperature for two months.
Apparently, the people of Tracy City were so fed up with Mayor Brock’s stand on the issues, her voting record and her constant breathing that they decided to go in another direction.
“If he were to run again next week I’d vote for him again,” Chris Rogers, owner of the town’s Lunch Box restaurant, said to reporters.
In the voters’ eyes, a politician with an inactive, decaying brain is better than a politician with an idiotic brain. Take note Congress — your jobs are officially on the line.
SUCKS TO BE a guy dressed as sausage who gets hit by a motorcycle
Thursday, April 8th, 2010
When Kevin Carboni put on his oversized sausage head and his goofy looking sausage torso and the three foot bow-tie, he figured it would be just another day at the office.
But sadly, fate had a different plan for Sausage Man. You see, while running the streets of Milwaukee for the Brewers’ opening day parade, Mr. Carboni was struck down by a motorcyle, spewing a mass of tattered felt that had not seen since the tragic Macy’s Parade Muppet Incident of 1978.
“It was horrible,” noted one parade attendee. “Watching sausage being destroyed is worse than watching sausage being made.”
Mr. Carboni suffered only mild physical injuries. But the personal humiliation he endured as his chef’s hat was trampled under the wheels of really slow-moving parade floats is something that will take a lifetime to recover from.
Sucks to be a man in a sausage suit who can’t see where he’s going.
SUCKS TO BE invaded by MTV penis sculptors
Tuesday, March 16th, 2010Folks in the town of Truckee, California are not happy. When MTV came a-callin’ asking if they could erect a statue in their town square for a new reality show, they didn’t realize they would get an actual erection. Channel 10 News takes the story from here.
