Posts Tagged ‘911’

SUCKS TO BE living in a cave for 8 years

Friday, September 11th, 2009

osama_bin_laden_070425_mnSucks to be you, Osama bin Laden. You want to go and be the world’s biggest dickhead murderer since Hitler, fine. Then you get to spend every waking hour living in the dank, spider-filled cave eating meal worms and Afghan beetles.

You want to put the world into a big clusterfuck of a panic? Great. Then you get to spend the rest of your life trying to dodge machine gun fire and laser guided missles.

Hope the trade-off was worth it, asshole. Because while you’re trying to keep your nice white dress from getting bat crap all over it, we’re getting on with our lives.

We’re rebuilding. We’re remembering. We’re forging on. And, oh, yeah, we’re still looking for you.

So, on this, the eighth anniversary of 9/11, we have but one thing to say: Have a sucky day.

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Posted in National/World Interest | No Comments »

SUCKS TO BE Andrew Mizsak, Jr., the world's oldest disrespectful child

Tuesday, May 19th, 2009
The little brat.

The little brat.

You know your life sucks when your daddy has to call 911 to get you to clean your messy bedroom.

But it’s doubly sucky if you’re 28 freakin’ years old and your daddy has to call 911 to get you to clean your messy bedroom.

Just ask Andrew Mizsak, Jr. of Bedford, Ohio—the world’s biggest and oldest loser.

Andrew lives with his parents. Uncommon for a guy who’s pushing 30. But the fact that the dude still can’t pick up his dirty socks when he’s done with them is simply unheard of.

What gives, Andy? Too busy raiding the parents’ fridge of their juice boxes and Go-gurts? Too busy watching their free cable? Too busy laying around hoping you get a girlfriend?

Get off your lazy- 28-year-old ass and put your crap away. It’s bad enough that you’re too unmotivated to find an apartment of your own. You can at least get up the energy to find a hamper for your batman pajamas and XXXL Underoos.

Luckily for Andrew, his daddy did not press charges.  Instead, Andrew is grounded  for a week.

Sucks to be you, Andrew.

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Posted in Douchebags, Public Humiliation | No Comments »

SUCKS TO BE pocket-dialing the fuzz

Tuesday, December 30th, 2008

Accidentally pocket-dialing someone is embarrassing enough when you’re belting out Michael Bolton’s “How Can We Be Lovers” in your PT Cruiser. But this one takes the fucking cake. Out for some innocent late night fun, Andre Pryce, Fabian Corley and Xavier Jenkins of Middletown, New York were breaking into cars to steal parts when one of them committed a huge party foul: pocket-dialing 911 in the middle of the act. Turns out there are more bars in more places, especially prison.

thieves

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Posted in Criminals | No Comments »