"Do not park in a loading zone again, young man. Do you understand me??!!"

If you’re a pick pocket or a flasher or guy who does 30 in a 25, and you wind up in court anywhere, it pretty much sucks to be you. Because the chances are good that the judge is going to give it to you.

But in Alabama, one robed purveyor of law and order was giving his convicts a little more than they might expect: A good old-fashioned over-the-knee spanking.

Former judge Herman Thomas thought that in addition to the typical sentences like a stiff fine, a few months in the county pen, or a week cleaning up freeway travelers’ garbage, some “parenting” was in order.

Or should we say, “perving.”

You see, on more than one occasion, Hizzonner summoned prisoners from the Mobile County Metro Jail and made them drop their orange jump suits to pay their debt to society.

Not quite the route Ruth Bader Ginsburg would have taken, but this is Alabama, after all.

While the Judge’s disciplinary actions were tremendously sucky for the criminals who were forced to bend over and say, “Thank you sir, may I have another,” they also turned out to be suckified for the judge as well.

He was de-robed for his indiscretions.

But just because he was removed from the bench, doesn’t mean he’s been removed from the courtroom. He reappeared this week as a defense attorney. Our guess is that he’ll plea bargain every one of his cases down to a spanking. As long as he can hold the paddle, that is.

Like we said, it sucks to be a criminal in Alabama.

(Thanks to Laura for the submission.)