It’s sure sucky to have to pay for your friends by being in a fraternity. It’s whole new level of suckiness, though, when those friends burn giant things on your buttcheeks while you’re unconscious after they got you drunk. Because those guys obviously want to be something more than just buddies. You might want to find another frat, Amon Carter. Or scratch that, another way of making friends other than doing kegstands.