Can’t a girl sit in a bar and drown her miseries without being harassed by overzealous cops and annoying tweens with autograph books? Our advice? Get a better hairdo
Posts Tagged ‘bar’
SUCKS TO BE bar hopping with Cheryl Ann Kepsel
Saturday, November 28th, 2009
Cheryl Ann Kepsel has a hobby. She likes to pound a few brews and then start pounding man sack with her fists. Just ask the barflies at Pelican Larry’s Bar & Grill in Naples, Florida – most of whom are now buckled over on the floor wondering if their falsetto will ever go away.
It seem that this week, Cheryl Ann made her way around the bar, punching each beau in the nads. To Cheryl Ann’s credit, if you’re trying to get more attention than those hotty sluts in the low-cut jeans, this is certainly one way to do it.
But maybe it’s not the best way.
When a bouncer asked Sugar Ray Kepsel to leave the establishment, she threw her drink in his face, and charged at him, attempting to knee him in the groin.
When the bouncer grabbed Kepsel to remove her from the bar, she then started punching, kicking, scratching, biting and generally “acting crazy.” She also tried to grab the bouncer’s crotch and neck.
Didn’t see that one coming, now, did we?
So as a public service to all men who eventually want to father children: Stay the hell away from Pelican Larry’s bar. And Cheryl Ann’s knuckles
SUCKS TO BE served a watered down vodka gimlet in Tennessee
Tuesday, November 24th, 2009
Warning Nashville bar hoppers: Get used to the lousy mixed drinks and the endless parade of warm beers. Because Johnny Law just gave the green light for bad service by stripping you of the one thing you need to make sure your bartender gets it right — your gun. That’s right, you’ve been banned from bringing your deer-killing/service-expediting machine into any establishment that serves booze.
Sucks to be you. Because now Gladys the bar-keep has lost all her motivation to do her job. (Let’s face it the 52 cents, 12 empties, and sob stories you leave her every night aren’t actually inspiring her keep the bowls of Chex Mix coming.)
We’re not sure why those douchebags in robes are carving up the Second Amendment with such reckless abandon, because nothing goes together better than large amounts of alcohol and firearms. Just look at those old Gunsmoke reruns, you’ll see.
The weapons ban is not only going to affect drink orders.
I mean how are you going to take care of the Yuppie who’s hitting on your girlfriend? How are you going to get your seat back when you return from the John? With words? Puleeeeezzzzze.
