Nothing is more of a chick magnet that a guy who plays ping pong

Here in America, the jocks get everything. The mad cash. The chicks. The get-out-of-jail free cards. It’s really an embarrassment of riches, if you think about it.

In China, however, life is a tad bit suckier for the sporting types.  Just ask Olympic medalist Wang Hao. The world champion ping-ponger has lived under some pretty douchey government rules. Mao and Company have restricted Wang from endorsement contracts, they’ve scooped up his winnings to pay for Politburo drink fests, and they’ve even banned him from getting jiggy with the ladies. (Now we know why Yao Ming paddled his rickshaw so frickin’ fast to Houston.)

News of Wang’s Tieneman Square-esque crack down came to light when the Chinese government finally relented and allowed him to slow dance and cop a feel. Apparently his permanent boner was impeding his ability to swing a paddle and collect more medals.

We don’t know what’s going on in China, but the no dating crap’s gotta stop. It’s one thing to deny people the right to protest and vote and eat something beside Fido. But to deny them a good old fashioned boinking in the back of dad’s station wagon? That’s the kind of stuff that will make Amnesty International go ballistic.

So knock it off, China, unless you want the biggest, baddest masturbating team in the whole wide world.