WARNING ILLINOIS RESIDENTS: Please drink one 12 pack of Red Bull immediately before reading.  We cannot guarantee the entertainment value of this post, and yawning from boredom is prohibited by law.

You heard right. In the Land of Lincoln, being sleepy is as illegal as pumping lead into a convenience store clerk. Just ask Clifton Williams, 33, who is currently serving three weeks in prison for, well,  yawning.

You see, as his cousin was being sentenced by Circuit Judge Daniel Rozak, Williams let out an endorphin-releasing, albeit loud, yalp. So, Judge Rozak tossed him in jail for contempt of court.

That sucks.

But hey, Judge, don’t throw the book at your audience because of your inadequacies.  Maybe if you were a little more Judge Judy and a little less Paint Drying, people would be able to keep their eyes open and their jaws shut during your sessions.

This precedent, of course, does not bode well for night shift security guards, librarians, newborns, or parents who are dragged by their kids to see GI Joe. All of whom could wind up making Illinois license plates before week’s end.