Mr. Right, we presume.

According to Reuters, a German woman is divorcing her husband for helping around the house too much. Yes, all you guys parked on your La-Z-Boy, scratching your balls, watching ESPN, you heard right. It seems this woman was completely fed up with his “typical guy antics” of  tidying up and doing the household chores all the time.

“I don’t get him,” the angry woman commented. “There’s beer cluttering up the fridge for weeks on end. There are bags of Doritos he won’t clean out. And the poker chips? They’re piled sky high in  the closet. I just don’t understand why he won’t help me out a little here.”

She’s also upset that he cooks gourmet meals and brings her to complete orgasm every morning.

The bastard.

Lady, if you’re looking for a real man — a man who’ll treat you like a maid and completely ignore your every want and need — come to the US of A. We’ve got millions of guys who never heard the word ‘vacuum cleaner.’ So ditch that loser you’re married to, get your passport, and let’s put the husband-wife relationship back where it belongs — in the Stone Age.