With the average marriage lasting about as long as a Depends commercial, it’s not surprising to see this sucky story. It seems that after 36 years of wedded bliss and 98 years of life, Bertie and Jessie Woods are dividing up their walkers, oxygen tanks and DentuCream coupons, and going their separate ways.
That’s right, they’re getting a divorce.
The good news is the Woods will be getting into the Guinness Book of World Records as the oldest couple to go single. The bad news? They’re going to have to repair the emotional scars they’re leaving in their selfish wake.
What about the kid, guys? She’s only 65 years young. How do you expect her to understand this? How do you expect her to deal with the fact that her daddy and mommy won’t be living together anymore?
Nobody’s real sure why Bertie and Jessie decided to pay lawyers to split them up, when nature was well on its way of taking care of that for free. I mean at just a smidge under 100, one of them was bound to keel over in mid-nag.
But clearly, staring at 98-year-old wrinkles all day was too much too bear. So now, Bertie and Jessie are going to play the field.
Single bars will never be the same.
When Richard and Dawnell Batista decided to call it quits, they started divvying up their belongings. She got the fine linens and the cappucino maker, he got the riding mower and the dog.
