Now, Mr. Peterson, I'd like you to hold up a convenience store.

After overdoing it at a Dave Matthews Band concert, Travis Peterson of Madison, Wisconsin, was seeing quadruple and speaking in what seemed like a weird combination of Lithuanian and Pig Latin. Deciding this might be an indication that his blood alcohol level was in the “stay the hell off the road” range, he decided to sleep off his $50 worth of draft beer in the parking lot.

While napping,  Travis was awoken by a police officer, who informed him that he had to move is vehicle off the parking lot. Travis, being the responsible drunk that he was, told the cop that he was trying to get sober. The cop, being the responsible parking lot clearer that he was, told him to move the car anyway. When Travis started the engine and pulled away, he was immediately arrested by the parking-lot-clearer-turned-dickhead, who cited him for driving under the influence of alcohol.

As a result, Travis will spend the next 60 days parked in jail.

We’re not sure how the law works in Madison, Officer Ahole. But in the rest of the country, you can’t order people to break the law and then arrest them for doing what they’re told. It’s called  entrapment. And douchebaggery. So quit trying to invent your own crime scenes. And go back to hiding in the bushes with your radar gun and your box of glazed Dunkin’s.