If you've seen this girl, call authorities immediately.
Ismail Sheikh, of eastern India, really, really sucks at cards. He also really, really sucks at parenting. You see, when Mr. Sheikh lost all of his money during a game with the guys, he didn’t accept his defeat, grab a beer, and retreat to the man cave to fantasize about Suzy Kolber on ESPN.
Instead he threw his daughter into the pot.
And when he lost his bid for a straight on the River, he lost his lovely 18-year-old offspring too.
Um, Ismail, before you walk into your grass hut version of the Bellagio and squander away the rest of your clan, you might want to brush up on the finer points of bluffing and raising. Because when all the kids and the wives and the goats are gone, you’re on your own. And the only card game you’ll be able to play is Solitaire. Which you probably suck at, too.
“Someone fire up the grill! Someone grab the peppers and onions. Someone…uh…what? 
If you’re sitting in a New Delhi McDonald’s contemplating whether or not to “accidentally” spill a hot cup of coffee on your coochie and then score a few million Rupees in legal settlements, you may want to consider another way of striking it rich.
Life at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue has taken a heavy toll on all members of the Bush family over the last eight years—most notably on their cat 
