"You vant Mickey? He has been sent to Siberia!"

When mom and dad wake you up on a warm summer morning and say, “We’re going to a theme park, kids!!”  images of rollercoasters and cotton candy and expensive ring toss games immediately come to mind.

It’s fun times a million!

So you jump out of bed and into the car, and plan your day of spinning and twirling and laughing out loud!

Until the folks pull up to the Isgyvenimo Drama Theme Park, that is. Because this theme park’s theme happens to be the Terror of Communism. Yes, Communism.

No Witches Wheel or Spin ‘n Tosses here. This park treats you to gas masks, stale Soviet food and concentration-camp-style interrogation and medical checks.

I mean, what could be more fun for the family than mental abuse and starvation? Sure, one might consider standing in line for 2 hours to ride a 30-second coaster  torture in itself. But at least you can slurp a Slushy out of a cool twisty straw while you’re waiting.

So our advice to those Ruskies booking their reservations at the Isgyvenimo Hotel  & Suites, save your $220. That’s probably worth a couple house payments in your neck of the woods.