Posts Tagged ‘loud’

SUCKS TO BE a vocal college fornicator

Saturday, February 6th, 2010

Quiet+signThe student union at Cambridge University’s Newnham College e-mailed the school’s 400 undergraduate students, asking them to be quieter during sexual encounters.

The student union said it sent the e-mail to all undergrads Tuesday after receiving 30 complaints about late-night “oohs” and “aahs” and “will you respect me in the mornings” in the residence halls.

“It’s just so embarrassing to think that people have been listening in. I was blushing when I got the email,” a 20-year-old student said. “You try to keep it down, but it’s easy to forget the walls are so thin if you get a bit carried away.”

Sucks to zip it up when the zippers are down.

When asked if they would abide by the ordinance for quieter rubbing of the uglies, the response was an overwhelming yes… Yes! YES! YES! YEEESSSS!!!

SUCKS TO BE living in the apartment above Madonna

Monday, October 19th, 2009

madonna-in-gautier-bustier-blond-ambition-tour-1992You might be thinking that having Madonna as a neighbor would be pretty awesome. You could bake pies together. You could gossip. You could exchange bustiers. It would be great.

But as it turns out, the Material Girl is louder than the newlyweds next door banging away every five minutes.

According to reports, Madonna is using her Manhattan residence, not for sleeping and cooking and living, but for dancing.  Yep, she’s turned her place into a rehearsal studio, forcing residents to endure blaring music, stomping and shaking walls for hours at a time.

Sucks to have your “CSI: Miami” drowned out by the flapping of pasties all night long

The situation has gotten so bad that one resident, Karen George, has filed a lawsuit to get Madonna to pipe down.

“I just want our neighborhood to get back to normal,” one resident said. “You can barely hear the gunfire on the streets at night.”