Jango and the future Mrs. Jango

Jango loves Fiats. He doesn’t love how they handle. He doesn’t love how they look. He doesn’t love how they last. He loves them. So much so that he wants to start a family with a hot little red number who’s parked in his cage at Vienna’s Schoenbrunn Zoo.

Sucks to be that desperate.

Jango, a Fiat is that girl who’s hanging around the bar at 2am, waiting for some loser to take her home, bed her, and then escape before she wakes up.

You deserve better, my horny little friend. Play the field before you settle down. Cuddle with a Beemer. Try something kinky a Rolls. Maybe try a one-night stand with a Volvo with a Corinthian leather interior.

Just stop raping that jalopy in your cage. You’re going to wind up with an unloving marriage and a wicked case of tetanus on your thingy.