Missing from the directions: Don't down a keg before using.

WTH, STBY, if he wasn’t driving a car, then how did he end up being charged with a DUI?

Technically speaking, folks, snowmobiles are considered motor vehicles, too. That’s right, on one of the hottest days of the summer, Joseph Quigley dusted off the ole snowmobile and decided to take her for a spin after 1 a.m. in the morning. But not before shotgunning a 30-pack of High Life’s and achieving an impressive .183% BAC.

“It’s so boilin hot, occifer, I’m just tryin ta cool off natrally in the snow,” the shitfaced man said before being tasered by Colchester, Vermont police and arrested for his 5th DUI.

Now, Joeseph, it looks like you’ll be cooling off in a cement prison cell.

Sucks to be you.