"Stick 'em up!"
The police in Mexico should raid Charlton Heston’s old gun closest. Because clearly they need some firepower. It’s gotten so bad in their fight against drug runners that they’ve resorted to voodoo to apprehend them.
Yes, armed with a plush doll and the pins from Tia Panchita’s sewing case, they are heading out into the danger zone to save Mexico.
Along with the sharpies, their arsenal also includes animal sacrifice and spirit tattoos. In fact, one of their best drug-prevention details includes priests who slaughter chickens on full moon nights on beaches and smear police with the blood while using prayers to evoke spirits.
OK, then. Something tells us that hiding behind an unmarked vehicle with some tear gas and bullets might be a little more effective. But hey who are we to judge a man with a room full of bloody feathers?
No word on whether the methods have been effecive in stopping drug dealers. But it’s been pretty effective at stopping chickens, that’s for sure.
There’s Paris Hilton. There’s the guy who’ll leave the lights on for ya. And then there’s Larry Whitten. Larry, an ex-marine and all-around badass, hopes to be the next big thing in the hotel/motel biz. And he thinks the way to make that happen isn’t by providing mints on the pillows or cheap porn on the TV, it’s to be the 
