We all know you shouldn’t drink and drive. Or text and drive. But apparently, not all of us knew you couldn’t do yourself with a huge honkin’ love toy and drive.
That’s what one woman was doing when an Elmwood Place police officer pulled her over for having tinted windows. (I think we can all guess why they were tinted now).
When cop went to ask the driver for her license, he saw a pantyless woman with a love toy dangling from her cooch, while her boyfriend in the passenger seat rolled hard core porn off the laptop.
Sucks to be that far from a bedroom.
The woman was cited for “inappropriate alertness” and “failure to find the G spot.”
Have it your way? Yeah, I’ll have an air-burger with some special ed. Jesus H. Christ, how in the hell did this person get past the job application? Sucks to put your stupidity on public display.
Congratulations to everyone in the 
When your job description is prying car keys from the hands of invalid octogenarians, fast food workers and single moms, you see a lot of tears.
It must really suck to be Middletown, Ohio Police Chief Greg Schwarber right about now. You see, while giving his daughter a lesson in firearms safety, the Chief proceeded to blow some lead into his own leg. (Yes, we know the story is dripping with irony). Not only does Cap’n Sharpshooter have to endure the pain of a gunshot wound and weeks of rehab, he has to endure the unrelenting public ridicule that he has so rightfully earned. Mr. Schwarber, when you’re a cop, shooting yourself in the leg is not something that people quickly forget.
