Sucks to be the victim of irony. Just ask James Miller, who decided to partake in the Halloween festivities at Miami University in Oxford, Ohio. Miller, choosing to nix the obvious Swine Flu, Susan Boyle or Michael Jackson in a Box costumes, channeled his crafty side and made himself a Breathalyzer outfit. Complete with faux gauges and a pornographic blow hole, the costume was a hit with all the Hallow’s Eve revelers on campus.
It wasn’t a big hit with the guys dressed as police officers, however. Because these guys weren’t in costumes, they were in real uniforms with real badges. And they were missing their own kids’ trick or treat in order to frisk a gaggle of Don Drapers and Balloon Boys.
So when they pulled the human alcohol detector over, they decided to show him what a real breathalyzer looked like. And needless to say, it wasn’t as funny as Miller’s. Miller promptly blew a .158 BAC — almost twice the legal limit.
Miller was whisked off to his next Halloween party in the Oxford drunk tank, where he spent the rest of the night with a human condom, two Barack Obamas and Waldo.
Sucks to put all that work into a costume for nothing.
When your job description is prying car keys from the hands of invalid octogenarians, fast food workers and single moms, you see a lot of tears.
It must really suck to be Middletown, Ohio Police Chief Greg Schwarber right about now. You see, while giving his daughter a lesson in firearms safety, the Chief proceeded to blow some lead into his own leg. (Yes, we know the story is dripping with irony). Not only does Cap’n Sharpshooter have to endure the pain of a gunshot wound and weeks of rehab, he has to endure the unrelenting public ridicule that he has so rightfully earned. Mr. Schwarber, when you’re a cop, shooting yourself in the leg is not something that people quickly forget.
