If you’ve got the world’s longest penis, you might think that finding a job would be easy. One call to Ron Jeremy, and you should have enough work to keep you in Magnums for life.
But Jonah Falcon, whose Johnson measures an impressive 13.5 inches when he’s staring at a picture of Charlize Theron, can’t seem to find employment anywhere. Not as an underwear model. Not as a show and tell subject in an anatomy class.
In fact, Jonah’s job prospects have shriveled up to the point where he’s now living with his mother.
Um, Jonah… maybe if you relied on some other body parts– like your brains and your hands — you might find a few more people willing to give you an interview. The world needs car makers and carpenters and accountants. Not some guy standing around with his ginormous thingy swinging to and fro.
So, go take a few classes at your community college, get trained at flipping burgers, learn to say, “Hi, welcome to WalMart.” Because if you’re counting on your “Ripleys Believe it or Not” member to bring you a steady paycheck, you’re going to be living with your mom for a long, long time.
Piss off one woman, and you sleep on the couch. Piss off four, and you get your weenie Krazy Glued to your torso. At least that’s how it works with the angry ladies of Wisconsin.
