
"That's DOCTOR Ron Jeremy to you."
There you are in your antiseptic-smelling hospital bed, trying to ease the bedpan under your ass, when all of a sudden, some hot nurse with fake boobs walks in, strips down to her thong and starts giving the guy next to you a peculiar sort of resuscitation.
At first, you think it might be the painkillers making you delirious. Until you hear some guy yell, “Cut!” and see a mustachioed patient with six-pack abs wrap a towel around his tent pole and go over to get his make-up reapplied.
Then it occurs to you. You’re in the middle of a porn movie.
That’s what many English patients could be experiencing as one hospital in that country has rented out its space to a bump-and-grind film company.
Sucks to be treated by Dr. Dick Hardalday.
For the real patients with open wounds and exploding gallbladders, being an extra in the remake of “Shaving Ryan’s Privates” is not best way to get back to full health. Although we must admit, if government-run healthcare gets you naked, horny nurses, it might not be totally bad.


Since 1920, the venerable
When police find over 1,000 images of child pornography on your personal computer, there’s little you could say in defense of your actions that would make anyone sympathetic toward you.

