Posts Tagged ‘prostitution’

SUCKS TO BE hard up for tuition

Thursday, February 4th, 2010

collegeIf you think it’s difficult paying for college in the states, try enrolling in New Zealand.

It’s gotten so bad, that one co-ed-to-be has  taken to Internet prostitution to pay for school. As the ‘rents always said, “If your brains can’t get you into college, use your vajayjay.”

The 19-year-old girl, who only goes by Unigirl, is auctioning off her cooter to the highest bidder. And when the bell sounded, Unigirl and her Unipie raked in a whopping $32,000.

$32,000? That’s it? Big fatsos whose only skill is putting on a helmet get more than that. And in this day and age, that romp in the hay with Mr. Oldfart isn’t going to get you much past the hazing at the Delta Pi sorority.

College is expensive. And once you get there, they guys aren’t going to shell out $32K to get inside your pants. The going rate on campus is a couple of dirty martinis and the promise to call you in the morning.

So if you want to get the full four-year college experience, put a few more ads on the Internet or take out a student loan. Either way, you’re getting screwed.

SUCKS TO BE Amber Carter, the 4th grade teacher redefining "hooky"

Wednesday, February 11th, 2009
If Amber Carter turns 3 tricks a week, for $250 each, every full week of Ohio's standard public school year, how much will she earn in total for the year if her teacher's salary is already $29,000?

If Amber Carter turns 3 tricks a week for $250 each every full week of Ohio's standard public school year, how much will she earn in total for the year if her teacher's salary is already $29,000? (Tip: remember that she loses 2 weeks of tricks due to the Holiday break in December!)

If the better pay for teachers movement was looking for its spokesperson, we at STBY think they’ve finally found their girl. Because today, authorities in Bellefontaine, Ohio say they’ve arrested fourth-grade teacher Amber Carter, 35, at a motel parking lot on charges of prostitution. And apparently, this wasn’t a Saturday night, earn some extra cash on the side sort of thing for Amber.

No, kiddies, your sweet little teacher was out playing hooker…er…hooky with a John while you simply thought she was in the John. She even used the classroom computer to arrange the bangfest.

But the question we keep asking ourselves is, why would someone in one of the world’s most noble professions turn to the world’s oldest profession? Does your salary suck hairy balls that bad?

Bellefontaine City Schools Superintendent Larry Anderson says officials are shocked at the news. Which probably doesn’t compare to the daily shock students experienced when their teacher came back from lunch wearing a leather mini-skirt, fuck-me boots and puffing on Virginia Slims.