Where the f**k is everyone?
When a trio of ski-mask-wearing, gun-wielding thieves rode up on a Joliet, Illinois grocery store, they expected to scare the living cash out of pretty much everyone waiting in the Self-Scan lines.
Their evil plan was to go in, flash some firepower, and leave with bags of greenbacks, credit cards and $1 off coupons for Tide.
But what they found was 100,000 square feet of bupkus.
Not a single person was in the store. No customers. No stock boys. Not even a clerk they could hold at gun point until she gave up her change purse and the security code to the cash register.
Instead of hauling ass to a store that actually had customers with wallets, the three stooges, Sanjuan Reyes, 22, Jose Torres, 17, and a 16-year-old boy, hung out nearby and were eventually arrested by police.
Yep, the big time armed-robbers were hauled downtown for loitering.
Sucks to commit the crime of bad timing.
When 
If you’re bangin’ away in steel cage full of old pizza boxes, moldy cheese and used tampons, then your life pretty much sucks. But for two Wichita, Kansas horndogs who found the stench of maggots too powerful an aphrodisiac, the odor ended up being the good part.
