Jim Nicholson, Bank Teller (Artists' Rendering)

When a masked robber entered a Key Bank in Seattle, he was hoping to get a bag of unmarked bills that he could waste on crack and heroin. What he ended up getting was a big can of whoop-ass, Jim Nicholson style. Nicholson, an employee at the bank, decided he wasn’t having any of the crook’s shenanigans. So when the robber asked him to hand over all his cash,  he chased him down, tackled him and held him until police arrived.

So what did Jim get for his troubles?

A pat on the back from the cop? No.

A certificate of appreciation from the Mayor? Not quite.

A big honkin’ raise and the title of Head Teller? Try again.

Jim got a pink slip.

That’s right, Jim was fired for saving his bank a boat load of inventory and for preventing his customers from suffering the embarrassment of wetting themselves in public.

Sucks to be you, Jim.  That’ll teach you to be the bravest, toughest, badass in the history of Key Bank. While your co-workers were trembling in their polyester trousers, trying to see who could unload their cash drawers into the robber’s bag the fastest, you were going linebacker on the douchebag.

So screw Key Bank, pal. You don’t need them and their stupid “safety first” policies. The Seahawks are starting training camp this week. And with a 4-12 record last year,  God knows they need someone who can tackle.