In an attempt to reduce alcohol-related crime, organizers of the popular Bathurst 1000 auto race are limiting attendees to one “slab” of beer a day. For those of you who are not familiar with the Aussie lingo, a “slab” equals 24 cans.

Sucks to throw up on your shoes only once. Sucks to fall on your face and suffer only mild contusions. Sucks to wake with only a 3-alarm headache.

Jesus H. Christ, Aussies. How much beer were you drinking before they had to cut you off at a case? We know you need a whole lot of something to wash down the vegemite and Kangaroo sandwiches, but try a spot of tea. Or a cola.

Because if race officials have to LIMIT you to two freaking gallons of beer a day, you might want to consider attending another event. Like rehab.