1-nil, baby.

Yeah, nil. That means ZERO in Algerian, you losers.

Now you know what it feels like to be the British in 1776.  It was a musket shot to the head, courtesy of Landon Fucking Donovan!

So, while you’re boarding your richshaw back to wherever the hell your country is located, we’re going to prepare for our next match. Or we might watch the NBA draft. That’s actually more interesting.

But this next rule is really perplexing. It appears that suffering a life-ending heart attack is against the rules. You see, recently, a 32-year-old Croatian soccer player named Goran Tunjic collapsed from a coronary in the 35th minute of a match. Thinking the player was merely taking a dive to draw a foul, the referee showed him a yellow card — a warning to behave the rest of the game.

Well, Goran behaved all right. After all, it’s sort of hard to commit any penalties when rigor mortis is setting in.

When the refs realized that Mr. Tunjic wasn’t faking his injury, it was too late.   He was rushed to a local hospital but could not be saved.

And while being dead might suck, at least Mr. Tunjic won’t have to play such a confusing game anymore.

In soccer matches assault and battery is usually an activity reserved for the fans in the stands. Get a few pints of warm beer in the crowd and suddenly you have 100,000 pissed off Chuck Norris types ready to put their fists and feet to good use. It’s sort of like Raider Nation without the spiked shoulder pads and the mile-long rap sheets.

But in Bolivia, the anger was not contained to those with seats. It started with a little unsportsmanlike conduct during the game when Oriente’s Leonardo Medina gave Sergio Jauregui a cheap shot to the neck.

Sergio then did Leonardo one better after the game (:30 on the video) and scored a GOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLL with his face.

As they say in the sports world, paybacks suck.