The holidays are right around the corner, folks. Well, alright, it’s not even Halloween yet. But if you’re as sucky as we are at buying gifts, you need to start thinking now about getting the most special people in your life something special in December.
So why not spread the holiday spirit and tell your friends, family and colleagues how you really feel with your very own Sucks To Be You merch. In addition to t-shirts and bumper stickers, we have sweet mugs that assist you in pointing and laughing at other people, too.
As you probably noticed, the STBY site was down for a considerable amount of time yesterday. What happened was we left our IT Guy, Gunther, in charge of the shop while the rest of the staff went on a bonding retreat in upstate New York. Gunther, with nobody around, decided it would be a good idea to pass the time with a sixer of Mickey’s Wide Mouths. He got drunk, tripped over some wires, and spilled his liquid lunch all over the equipment.
The site, thankfully, is back up. Although as you browse through the pages, you’ll find there’s still some work to be done.
*Sigh*
We’d like to say that this sort of nuclear meltdown will never happen again. But Gunther has some compromising and, quite frankly, disturbing pictures of our founder and CEO. So he’s here to stay.
To prepare for a likely future STBY emergency shut-down, we suggest you take the following steps:
1.   Grab an STBY widget. (see banner to right). It’s an easy way to keep the sucks coming even if the site is gone.
2.   Buy a Sucks to be You t-shirt. It’s only about $20, and Gunther can’t touch it.
3.   Visit any of the sites on our blog roll. They’re all good. And Gunther isn’t tech support for any of them.
Again, we sincerely apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you in your attempt to goof off during work hours.
There have been a lot of inventions that have benefitted mankind. Vaccines. Indoor plumbing. Anything made by Ronco. And now you can add the new Sucks to be You widget to that list. How we humans have gone this long without a daily desktop reminder of things that suck, is beyond understanding. But that’s exactly what you’ll get from this sweet new app. It’s free. So do yourself a huge favor and get yours. You can simply grab it by clicking on the icon to the right. Or you can grab it here.
Artist's rendering of Abdul Q. Adil, who is STBY's nomination for Sexiest, Smartest, Unsuckiest Man Alive award.
We’re not sure if Adil is Abdul’s full surname. Or if Abdul has any talents. Or if he even has all four of his limbs. But what we are sure Abdul has is an extraordinary, phenomenal, spectacular, unique, outstanding, striking, alluring, attractive, captivating, charming, entertaining, fascinating, one-of-a-kind Sucks To Be You t-shirt.
Abdul, you are the first to wear this official badge of awesomeness in public. You are officially our first customer. You are the reason we are officially 50-cents richer. And for that, you officially do not suck.
As for the rest of you, well, the shirt you’ve got on right now officially does suck. And it will never, ever get you laid.
While relaxing in my Diesel jeans and enjoying the drinkability of a Bud Light Monday night, I nearly fell out of my Ikea modular sofa onto my Flor modular carpeting when I heard, “Sucks To Be You,” come booming out of my Sony HD flat panel. That’s right, world. Actor Tom Cavanaugh uttered these four sacred words about halfway through the “Au Courant” episode of TNT’s new series Trust Me, the product placement show everyone’s talking about on the blogs. I rewinded my DirecTV HD-DVR just to be sure, and clear as Windex I heard it again, “Sucks To Be You” (watch here).
No, Tom. Actually, it sucks to be you. Because our blog did not legally authorize or pay you to use our brand name on your show.
How dare you assume we’d want to be associated with the other “brands” mentioned in the same episode (Abercromie & Fitch, AdGabber, American Eagle, Facebook, Gap, Google, iPod, Nike and Tivo, to name a few). Did you think we wouldn’t notice you were sitting in front of your computer when you said, “Sucks To Be You”? Did you think we’d simply chalk it up to coincidence that the entire episode was about social media and what’s “cool” these days?
We’ll tell you what’s cool, Tom. Lawsuits landing on your lap are cool. Getting rich quick is cool. And Sucks To Be You is cool without you fucking it up for us.
And for the record, Don Draper of Mad Men is cool like you could only wish to be.
You are totally awesome. Other people, not so much.
Your socially inept, pervy-sex-joke-telling colleague with halitosis and excessive earwax. The too cool for school indie rock poseur Starbucks barista with the stupid girly bangs who never fills your $9 coffee to the brim. The gum-smacking bitch with oversized sunglasses who insists on tailgating you, even though you’re going 88mph, while she’s yapping twice that speed on her cell phone.
Tell them how you really feel with our fine threads and swag from CafePress. Get ‘em while they’re hot right here.