It is a proven scientific fact that when a man enters into marriage, he gives up two things: His opinions and his checkbook. And maybe on occasion, a couple yards of closet space. But no man has never gone as far as to give up his last name.

And then there’s Joshua.

Joshua decided that it might be a good idea to buck a million years of history, tradition and monkey evolution, and take his bride’s surname.

Sucks to be that hard-up and/or stupid, Joshua. Now, while you’re not ducking gawks and ridicule from every man in the world, you’ ve got to go through the indignity of changing your driver’s license and your business cards and your Whipped Men of England Club membership. That crap’s as fem as a Tampax in a purse.

So, knock it off, Josh. Because if you start giving our women any stupid ideas, we’re going to start calling you some name you really don’t like.