Peyton Manning may have lost a bit of confidence after Sunday’s Super Bowl loss to the New Orleans Saints. But as it turns out, one fan in Florida had even more skin in the game than the two teams testing their manhood on the gridiron.
As if it weren’t punishment enough to listen to Carrie Underwood shatter glass with her off-key rendition of the National Anthem or to watch a group of geriatrics perform a snoozefest of songs that even they struggle to remember, 42-year-old Vinh Pham went home after a Superbowl party in Key West with a bottle of Bud Light decorating his face and a set of punctured testicles.
Allegedly, Pham was asked to leave the party at around 2 a.m. by Y Le, the host of the pigskin bash. Pham refused, so Le not only proceeded to kick his ass but also unleashed a fistful of fury on his balls.
Sucks to be cracking peanuts between your fingers one minute, then experiencing things from the perspective of those nuts the next.
Ya know folks, there are several ways we here at STBY could go on this one.
If you ask Michael Dick (yes, that’s his actual name), “fondling” isn’t the best way to describe what happened to him. Because when an 88-year-old woman grabbed his goods, she wasn’t looking for a good time, she was looking for revenge. You see, Mr. Dick (can you believe that’s his real name?) wasn’t a husband or a lover, he was a robber. A naked robber. A stupid naked robber. And when he broke into a senior citizen’s home buck naked, the victim decided to take matters into her own…well…hands. The hand job Mr. Dick received, however, didn’t send him to Happy Land, it sent him to the slammer. And probably to a urologist.
