It’s gotten so bad, that one co-ed-to-be has  taken to Internet prostitution to pay for school. As the ‘rents always said, “If your brains can’t get you into college, use your vajayjay.”

The 19-year-old girl, who only goes by Unigirl, is auctioning off her cooter to the highest bidder. And when the bell sounded, Unigirl and her Unipie raked in a whopping $32,000.

$32,000? That’s it? Big fatsos whose only skill is putting on a helmet get more than that. And in this day and age, that romp in the hay with Mr. Oldfart isn’t going to get you much past the hazing at the Delta Pi sorority.

College is expensive. And once you get there, they guys aren’t going to shell out $32K to get inside your pants. The going rate on campus is a couple of dirty martinis and the promise to call you in the morning.

So if you want to get the full four-year college experience, put a few more ads on the Internet or take out a student loan. Either way, you’re getting screwed.