SUCKS TO BE VICKI WALKER. RECENTLY, SHE GOT THE PINK SLIP. NOT FOR COMING INTO WORK HUNG OVER, OR BLOWING THE BOSS OR SURFING STBY ALL DAY. SHE WAS SACKED FOR — GET THIS — SENDING EMAILS IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS. APPARENTLY COWORKERS THOUGHT HER INTEROFFICE CORRESPONDENCES  WERE “TOO SHOUTY,” AND THEY WERE FEELING THREATENED.

AS EVERYONE KNOWS, ALL CAP EMAILS ARE THE LEADING CAUSE OF INJURY AND DEATH IN THE WORKPLACE, RIGHT NEXT TO SHOOTING YOURSELF IN THE HEAD WITH A MACHINE GUN. SO IT STANDS TO REASON THAT WHEN GRAPHICALLY LOUD EMAILS STARTED WINDING UP IN THE IN-BOXES OF VULNERABLE ACCOUNTANTS, THE AUTHOR HAD TO GO.

AND THAT AUTHOR, OBVIOUSLY, WAS VICKI.

THE WHOLE MESS COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED HAD MS. WALKER USED ONE OF THESE  : – ).

OR ONE OF THESE. <3

OR EVEN ONE OF THESE. : – P

HELL, EVEN A WELL-PLACED “LOL”  MIGHT HAVE KEPT THE PAYCHECKS COMING. SO NOW, INSTEAD OF WRITING BITTER, PISS-YOUR-PANTS INDUCING EMAILS, SHE’LL BE SPENDING HER TIME WRITING HER RESUME. LET’S JUST HOPE SHE LEARNS TO HIT THE “SHIFT” KEY.