You know, after all the uncharacteristic morbidity at STBY over the last two days, we thought we’d add a little levity to our Saturday edition. But, to be honest, there is nothing funny about this picture. In fact, it’s pencil-in-the-eye, find-me-the-highest-bridge depressing.

This is a photo of Virgin Airlines bossman, Richard Branson. That bling around his neck? That would be his naked nymphomaniac model girlfriend Denni Parkinson.  Need a moment to compose yourself, guys? We’ll wait.

OK… back?

Like we were saying, it’s not enough that Sir Richard can rub his billions of dollars or his knighthood or his private Caribbean island in our face, now he’s got to show off like this?

I don’t know about you, but I’m never buying a seat on a Virgin Airlines flight again. Not unless Denni is serving me complementary pretzels in the outfit she’s wearing in this photo. I don’t care if I have to spend the rest of my life in the middle seat next to a sweaty fat French woman and some airsick blue hair. I am not paying for Richard’s wetsuit and his girlfriend’s…uh…sunscreen.

Yeah, it sucks to be the rest of us, what with our mortgages and minivans and to-do lists. But you know, we’re in control guys. Yes, control. Just keep reminding yourselves of that.

Thanks to David C. for the submission.